|
|
Sunday, November 27th, 2005
|
|
Thursday, September 2nd, 2004
|
|
Wednesday, September 1st, 2004
|
|
|
"Looking back on my life, one thing is clear-
The worthwhile part has been spent with you"
Two years (actually almost six all together, long story! :) ) have come and gone so quickly...Parang kailan lang...:)
We've been thru so much...getting together, breaking up and getting back together again... I've learned so much with and because of him. The past two years have been smooth sailing for us, unlike the rocky almost four years of the first stage of our relationship.
Bottom line: Jess is the center of our relationship and that makes all the difference.
Needless to say, looking back at our past has shown me that I would like nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him. *sigh*
|
|
Comments: 1 lullaby - sing me a lullaby.
|
|
Friday, August 27th, 2004
|
| Time: | 2:39 pm. |
| Mood: |  tired. |
|
The last month has been hellish.
Have been too tired to update.
Need to relax.
|
|
Comments: 1 lullaby - sing me a lullaby.
|
|
|
It is finished!
My 1-month hell on earth is done...
Or at least till my new hell begins again on August 5...:)
|
|
Comments: 3 lullabys - sing me a lullaby.
|
|
|
Today, in the middle of all the stress (and mess of the general vicinity of my desk), I suddenly lifted my arms and shouted out, "PARA SA IYO LORD!" My tita (our company's PR consultant) practically stopped in her tracks. (As in nagulat talaga siya! :)) After recovering from the surprise of my outburst, she commented that it was a good attitude to have about work and ultimately, about life.
I am stressed beyond belief. My workload has been tough the last few weeks with all the events and deadlines, that time for myself, my family and Carlo was practically non-existent.
Kinaya ko lahat-lahat. Admittedly, I was on the verge of giving up several times over the last few days. I was constnatly thinking of whether all the stress, fatigue, sleepless nights & skipped meals was still worth keeping this job.
My job does not help the country, the poor, homeless, sick and dying. It does not provide jobs or help augment the budget deficit.
At the very least, it helps promote Philippine art abroad and provide a service for buyers and sellers of art & antiques in the Philippines as well as around the world.
It is not a job that I will be staying in forever but the last three years have opened my eyes to so much. I am a better person because of this job and so many people I've met because of it have touched my life.
My sister mentioned how I try to find one person to touch my life each day CORRECTION: I try to find at least one person. I am lucky to have several each day with my constants being Mom, Mikko, Tums and Carlo.
My job in itself can sometimes be a TRIAL. But more than that, what I've learned and continue to learn is a TRIUMPH that I lift up to Him.
PARA SA IYO KUYA JESS ANG LAHAT NA PINAGDADAANAN KO...
|
|
Comments: 1 lullaby - sing me a lullaby.
|
|
|
Ballet shoes- beautiful, graceful, and creative,
you enjoy dancing writing and music. You are
often very poetic and sometimes dramatic. Even
if dancing isn't your thing, you are still very
creative. You keep to yourself aside from a few
close friends that you can relate to. You find
your own ways to express yourself and don't
have a need to br surrounded by tons of people.
A small group of friends is fine. [please vote!
thank you! :)]
What Kind of Shoe Are You?(new and updated results!!)
brought to you by Quizilla
I'm so into ballet again now because of the beautiful painting that I bought. :)
Super dami kuwento. I can't believe that I haven't updated in so long. Work stress has been nearly too much for me-I AM SO TIRED!
Konting tiis na lang, I'll be okay after the 23rd...
|
|
Comments: sing me a lullaby.
|
|
Wednesday, June 23rd, 2004
|
|
|
Trip lang. My boss is back and I'm waiting for her to call me back. Is it obvious that I'm bored? :)
Aries - Your Love Profile
Your positive traits:
You're quite the charmer. You've got the wit and attitude to attract almost anyone you meet.
Out spoken and honest, any date knows how they stand with you.
Fearless, independent, and willing to try anything twice - your dates should expect the unexpected.
Your negative traits:
You tend to be vain, and you expect your partner to feed that vanity often with complements.
Hot tempered and impulsive, you've occasionally ended things ... only to reget it later.
You're obsessed with being the best, most loved girlfriend or boyfriend your sweetie's ever had
Your ideal partner:
A risk taking, free spirit like yourself - who can keep up with your latest wild child antics
Someone stylish, attractive, and fit... who can keep you attracted for months
Is hard to get - and lets you pursue things. You prefer to be the chaser, not the one being chased.
Your dating style:
Wild, unpredictable, fun, and daring. Your ideal date may involve a couple motorcycles or naked skydiving.
Your seduction style:
Honest and direct - you have no need for romance or much foreplay.
Show off. You like to show your lover how you're the best ever.
Ambitious. You often like to go all night - or aim for multiple orgasms.
Tips for the future:
Start to believe in second and third chances. You don't have to dump them so fast.
Savor the process. Sometimes the best part of falling in love is taking things in slow motion.
Let go of comparisons. If someone's with you, then you've already one. Stop worrying about exes.
Best place to meet someone online:
Match.com - honest and straightforward profiles, just how you like them!
Best color to attract mate: Red
Best day for a date: Tuesday
Get your free love profile at Blogthings.
|
|
|
Comments: sing me a lullaby.
|
|
|
For the past three weekends, I've been going to various days weekends-UST, ctk & Hyssop.
As always, because of days, (specifically JESS) I feel fulfilled, happy & content. This past week, I was really harassed but JESS is like an UPPER=addicting...so I'm super recharged...
Days-wise, last weekend was no exception.
Hyssop 13 was, in a word, uplifting. It was so good to see another batch of participants (My, Aurea, Felice, Heather, Frances, Tin, Nina, Daisy, Meanne, and Loraine) touched by Him. The core (Tonie, Candice, Mel & Ninna) worked hard and successfully introduced Jess to the participants. The staffers (especially the True Light-Hanna, Mell, Chenelle, Timmy, Nina and Carissa and ctk dazers/staff-Pat, Gianna, Tums, Kathrine, Miguel, Omar, Kritzia, Haydee, Welo, Mikko, and Carlo) were ready and willing to serve. I have to say this: I'm proud of US. Proud that hindi tayo napapagod sa kaka-SERVE kay Jess even if tatlong linggo na sunod-sunod ang batches. :)
I was particularly inspired and impressed by Ynez. A few of us bonded while waiting for the Saturday night activities and because of our chikkas, I discovered a side of her that I didn't know about previously. :)
Likewise, the bball clinic was a big success. All the vital ingredients for a good outreach program were there...nice venue, free food, super cool volunteers...the experience was fulfilling, even if the time
was bitin and the kids were semi out-of-control :)
[ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<img [...] ">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] For the past three weekends, I've been going to various days weekends-UST, ctk & Hyssop. As always, because of days, (specifically JESS) I feel fulfilled, happy & content. This past week, I was really harassed but <b>JESS </b>is like an UPPER=addicting...so I'm super recharged... Days-wise, last weekend was no exception. Hyssop 13 was, in a word, <b>uplifting</b>. It was so good to see another batch of participants (<i>My, Aurea, Felice, Heather, Frances, Tin, Nina, Daisy, Meanne, and Loraine</i>) touched by Him. The core (<i>Tonie, Candice, Mel & Ninna</i>) worked hard and successfully introduced Jess to the participants. The staffers (especially the True Light-<i>Hanna, Mell, Chenelle, Timmy, Nina and Carissa</i> and ctk dazers/staff-<i>Pat, Gianna, Tums, Kathrine, Miguel, Omar, Kritzia, Haydee, Welo, Mikko, and Carlo</i>) were ready and willing to serve. I have to say this: I'm proud of US. Proud that hindi tayo napapagod sa kaka-SERVE kay Jess even if tatlong linggo na sunod-sunod ang batches. :) I was particularly inspired and impressed by <b>Ynez</b>. A few of us bonded while waiting for the Saturday night activities and because of our chikkas, I discovered a side of her that I didn't know about previously. :) Likewise, the bball clinic was a big success. All the vital ingredients for a good outreach program were there...nice venue, free food, super cool volunteers...the experience was fulfilling, even if the time was bitin and the kids were semi out-of-control :) <img src="http://aces.tabulas.com/purplestar/bball_clinic.jpg"" alt="bball clinic" /> |
|
Comments: 2 lullabys - sing me a lullaby.
|
|
Wednesday, June 16th, 2004
|
|
|
It was a terrific weekend. The best days weekend ctk ever had...I am so proud and honored to have been a part of it.
I was so happy that my ctk 02 kids (Richard, Denise, Reggie, Ynez, Macky, Glenn, Obert & Marielle) were there to support the core, especially Lari & Migs.
I was also happy because of how ganado the true light 1 dazers (Timmy, Mela, Theresa, Nina, Loi, Christine, Kina) were in serving the participants. Nakakataba ng puso.
I am especially proud of my true light 2 stars (Hanna, Chenelle, Mell, Ruby, Bianca, Carissa, Tessa, Pauline, Maica) because even if it was just a month after their own days, they were sobrang high pa rin and they showed concretely Jess' love to the participants in how they served.
I also fell more in love with Kritzia, Gisa, Rianna, and Gianna. The four of you shine brightest when you give of yourselves in the way that you do.
Lastly, I am proudest of my sister. She was and never will be in my shadow. I resent that comment from the last person it should have come from. Tums was and is a big part of what inspires me to serve. Her child-like way of loving touched me so much. She loves in the best way possible-humble, selfless, simple.
Every day, I try to find at least one person to inspire me, a concrete manifestaton of Jess in even just one person who touches my life for each day that passes. Last weekend, I was lucky, no, I was blessed to have several.
Needless to say, I am rejuvenated, refreshed and recharged to continue what I've set out to do.
Jess, You are my greatest inspiration. I continue to give myself to you.
|
|
Comments: 2 lullabys - sing me a lullaby.
|
|
|
9 years.
There is a marked difference between loving and being in love. I'm both. I love and I'm in love with Him.
I've experienced 9 beautiful years of being in a relationship that is beautiful but complex. I am more in love than ever. I have never felt so loved, valued and appreciated. He fills me with so much joy and contentment. He makes me feel special, complete.
I haven't been as loyal as He has been to me. I've often strayed and often have I said "Ayoko na." Still, we're here at this point where there's honesty, trust and a bond so strong that my flaws, weaknesses and insecurities are compensated by and because of His love.
Thank you for loving me, for being there through everything.
I love you, Jess, I love you so much. Basta Ikaw!
|
|
Comments: sing me a lullaby.
|
|
|
I am going to be ok.
Like I said, in the end, I will always go back to my commitment. In as much as tanggap lang ng tanggap applies to this situation, I will go beyond it. I will transcend the negative emotions that the situation is eliciting. I will see past myself and what I'm feeling and turn to Jess for comfort, solace and most of all, strength.
I'm thankful for my friends: my angels, stars and rainbows. I'm recovering from so much pain and trauma, facing so many fears and conquering so many obstacles. I've always known that I'm not alone and never will be alone. I have people who continue to touch my life with every interaction, who allow me to soar above and beyond each trial that is thrown at me.
It was a weekend fraught with so much drama.
I will be okay though. I promise.
|
|
Comments: 3 lullabys - sing me a lullaby.
|
|
|
Sometimes, I feel so bad that I'm capable of being so ANGRY.
Right now,
I want to scream.
I want to throw things.
I apologize for this entry. I apologize for being weak. Tao lamang po ako. Although that's not an excuse.
I apologize for wanting to quit on Him because some people make me feel useless and worthless.
Nagkukulang ba ako? Masama ba akong tao? What you said hurts. I'm not a people pleaser. I'm not afraid of anyone. If anything, I'm driven by loyalty, utang na loob, genuinely accepting faults and flaws within people and focusing on what makes them good and allowing that part of them to shine through.
I'm not plastic. In fact, one of your accusations is nagpapatapak ako sa mga tao. Why? Because I'm diplomatic? Because I want to protect people from the truth especially when it hurts?
At least hindi ako katulad niyo. Ang galing niyo magsalita. Gusto ko manumbat but I wont. BIL!
In the end, I know I can't and wont quit. In the end, I know na kaya kong lampasan ito kahit na the ones inflicting this pain are those close to me.
I'm sorry. On second thought, I'm not. I can't please everyone. I know that. But I'll do what's right. I'll do what Jess wants me to do. I will live up to my commitment. Wala akong aapakan. Wala akong gagawin kundi magmahal, kahit mahirap, kahit sobrang sakit ngayon.
I will not deny that I'm not ok. But a lot of the people I love need me to be strong. I'll try harder.
Please help me Kuya Jess. Kailangan kita ngayon.
|
|
Comments: 12 lullabys - sing me a lullaby.
|
|
|
Despite the work stress that I had to take home with me and the little tampo I had with my honey towards the tail-end of our Friday date, Friday was really good. Okay, so I did end up, against my better judgment, doing a little shopping at the Midnight Madness Sale, but I learned something from my excursion. There are still good people in the world.
Saturday was even better. The wish-grant touched me. Syric's quiet excitement was infectious. In his quiet way, he seemed to take everything in, committing everything to memory, relishing every moment even if it seemed na may pagka-nr siya.
My teammates were fun too. I was especially inspired by Haydee and Jam. They worked really hard to make it fun and memorable for our wish kid. Their approach to the grant was creative and well thought out. Mikko, Miguel and Shaggy were aliw also. They have a kenkoy way of dealing with things, so much so, that everything seems to be funny. Amor and Mina look and act so much alike. (duh, they're twins :0) Grabe, super organized sila to the last second of the grant.
Carlo and I stayed at home while the kiddies (Mikko, Tums, Haydee & Miguel) were at the concert. We had Yellow Cab with Mom and watched tv lang. Quality Time. *sigh*
Needless to say, I waited for Tums to get home to make kuwento about both her meeting and the concert. She slept with me (definitely a treat coz she hasn't been doing this lately) and we talked and talked till we fell asleep.
Nothing much on Sunday except Reggie's debut which was good too. She was so beautiful. I'm glad we went despite the fact that I pretty much thought that we'd be the oldest ones there. (which we were) Chenelle and Hanna were there too, so it was a treat to see them as well. Hanna was so cute, sobrang daldal. I'm glad that she and Carlo got to talk a bit also.
I had a GOOD weekend. Enough said.
|
|
Comments: sing me a lullaby.
|
|
|
I've been meaning to update since thursday, but a lot of work piled up because I had to rush work stuff in anticipation of my boss' 2-week US trip. Needless to say, I've been awfully stressed out...
Gisa's journal entry last Thursday about her personal motto inspired me so much that it got me thinking about my own.
Live.
Learn.
Love.
Basta Ikaw Lord! In a weird way, my personal motto goes hand in hand with my commitment. Kahit mahirap, kahit masakit, buong buhay ko'y inaalay ko sa Iyo, my thoughts, words, and deeds are centered on You. Panginoon, gamitin mo ako.
Gisa, thanks for inspiring me to take time to reflect despite how busy my life has been lately.
|
|
Comments: 1 lullaby - sing me a lullaby.
|
|
Wednesday, May 26th, 2004
|
|
|
First, I am sooooo sleepy. It doesn't help that it's cold here in the office which makes me want to curl up and take a long, long nap.
Second, I am super duper bored. Sure, I have work: things to do and people to call etc. but I'm putting it off. Nothing immediate though. Nothing requiring an answer right now.
Third, I want to go to the mall and shop. It doesn't help that I just got paid today. I'm not doing anything stupid (or so I say). I have gone over (a zillion times at least) the big difference between needs and wants and there's nothing that I need right now. Argh, there's a midnight madness sale in Glorietta on Friday. Somebody stop me!
Fourth and last, I am looking forward to this weekend. I have a date with my honey on Friday, a wish grant on Saturday morning and a stay-at-home date with my honey again in the evening....Yay!
|
|
Comments: 2 lullabys - sing me a lullaby.
|
|
|
"All good things come to an end". True Light 2 is over and it's on to the next thing for me. Where days is concerned, I still have ctk 08 (Go Tums!!!) to look forward to before going on a long staffing hiatus till November for both True Light and ctk.
Still, I can't be idle. It's not just me to sit around and wait for things to happen...I have to make things happen. What better way to do that than to make a dream come true...
Kuya Jess, please help me, this concert is for you...
|
|
Comments: 2 lullabys - sing me a lullaby.
|
|
|
I've realized that I can't please everyone and that I shouldn't even try. Sometimes even I think I'm too diplomatic. I sugar-coat the situation instead of saying the flat-out truth precisely because I don't want to hurt anyone.
Am I wrong in doing that? Is it better to confront the person outright with the truth, maybe have the person mad at you and maybe even affect the person so much that he/she loses his/her self-esteem because of a few carelessly chosen words?
Many a time have I wanted to just say it straight and not have to tiptoe around the topic. However, I don't. I don't want people to be unhappy or hurt.
Am I so wrong in protecting people from what I sometimes perceive as unnecessary pain? Is that the savior complex that some people accuse me of?
|
|
Comments: 2 lullabys - sing me a lullaby.
|
|
|
I've been thinking a lot about people I idolize, not actors or singers or political leaders, but REAL people I want to emulate. Weird, I suppose, but lately, I've just been inspired to be good and so, I've been thinking a lot about this... :)
Jess: Needless to say, I want to be like Him. Enough said. Tough, yupyup. But wanting to live out my commitment day by day is the way I'm trying to do it. He is in every person and I'm trying to see that...no matter how hard it is sometimes.
Kring: She's the one person I know who lives for Him and for others. Her every thought, word, and deed is entirely fixed on Him. I value her simplicity and dedication and admire the fact that even at such a young age, she's so focused and goal oriented.
Nicky: I've known him for 9 years and knowing him has been such a blessing. He is Jess personified (there was even a time that he looked like him :)) and he exudes this holiness that I bask in.
Looking at them makes me want to be good. It makes me want to be able to inspire people, make a difference and touch others' lives just by simply being alive, living and loving and bringing Jess to others.
Kring and Nicky, thanks for touching my life. I love you so much. Basta Kayo!
Jess, I want to be like You! Basta Ikaw Lord!
|
|
Comments: sing me a lullaby.
|
|
|
My fourth day is a not only a jumble of thoughts but of emotions as well. I'm coming down from my high, realizing that I have a lot to deal with in terms of the rest of my life after days.
Many a time did I threaten to give up on days especially when issues would crop up and I'd find myself in situations where I'd have to fight with someone instead of fighting for someone or better yet, not having to fight with anyone at all.
I've realized that you cannot please everyone. That we're only human and we make mistakes. That not everyone can be expected to understand or accept certain things.
My mom didn't allow me to staff for the longest time. I had to "make takas" to do it. And yet, she now has three children in days actively staffing, practically making days not only an apostolate, but a way of life.
I love with passion. I live without regrets, doubts and hesitations. I'm not perfect, but I don't want to make it an excuse. I will not settle for mediocrity. I will live it each day as if it were my last.
When I die, I hope that I am remembered for two things, that I lived life to the fullest and loved in the way that Jess did, without asking for anything in return.
|
|
Comments: 4 lullabys - sing me a lullaby.
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
purplestar8122's journal
happy.
loved.
relieved.
stressed.
blah.
accomplished.
drained.
peaceful.
bored.
confused.
frustrated.