VERITE

hibiscus babies =)

Sun, 27 Nov 2005 03:18:55 GMT

please visit:
http://hibiscusbabies.multiply.com

for cute boardshorts and bags =)

loved and in love...

Thu, 02 Sep 2004 00:10:57 GMT

Yesterday was great.

I spent quality alone time with my honey to celebrate our anniversary...good food, good conversation...a lot of reminiscing about our past and daydreaming and planning our future.

I still cannot believe we've been together so long....

"How could I ever say goodbye?"

Wed, 01 Sep 2004 08:31:01 GMT

"Looking back on my life, one thing is clear-
The worthwhile part has been spent with you"

Two years (actually almost six all together, long story! :) ) have come and gone so quickly...Parang kailan lang...:)

We've been thru so much...getting together, breaking up and getting back together again... I've learned so much with and because of him. The past two years have been smooth sailing for us, unlike the rocky almost four years of the first stage of our relationship.

Bottom line: Jess is the center of our relationship and that makes all the difference.

Needless to say, looking back at our past has shown me that I would like nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him. *sigh*

Fri, 27 Aug 2004 06:40:40 GMT

The last month has been hellish.

Have been too tired to update.

Need to relax.

Argh!

Fri, 23 Jul 2004 09:05:38 GMT

It is finished!

My 1-month hell on earth is done...

Or at least till my new hell begins again on August 5...:)

PARA SA IYO LORD

Fri, 16 Jul 2004 08:43:18 GMT

Today, in the middle of all the stress (and mess of the general vicinity of my desk), I suddenly lifted my arms and shouted out, "PARA SA IYO LORD!" My tita (our company's PR consultant) practically stopped in her tracks. (As in nagulat talaga siya! :)) After recovering from the surprise of my outburst, she commented that it was a good attitude to have about work and ultimately, about life.

I am stressed beyond belief. My workload has been tough the last few weeks with all the events and deadlines, that time for myself, my family and Carlo was practically non-existent.

Kinaya ko lahat-lahat. Admittedly, I was on the verge of giving up several times over the last few days. I was constnatly thinking of whether all the stress, fatigue, sleepless nights & skipped meals was still worth keeping this job.

My job does not help the country, the poor, homeless, sick and dying. It does not provide jobs or help augment the budget deficit.
At the very least, it helps promote Philippine art abroad and provide a service for buyers and sellers of art & antiques in the Philippines as well as around the world.

It is not a job that I will be staying in forever but the last three years have opened my eyes to so much. I am a better person because of this job and so many people I've met because of it have touched my life.

My sister mentioned how I try to find one person to touch my life each day CORRECTION: I try to find at least one person. I am lucky to have several each day with my constants being Mom, Mikko, Tums and Carlo.

My job in itself can sometimes be a TRIAL. But more than that, what I've learned and continue to learn is a TRIUMPH that I lift up to Him.

PARA SA IYO KUYA JESS ANG LAHAT NA PINAGDADAANAN KO...

renewed interests

Fri, 16 Jul 2004 03:26:39 GMT

Ballet shoes- beautiful, graceful, and creative,
you enjoy dancing writing and music. You are
often very poetic and sometimes dramatic. Even
if dancing isn't your thing, you are still very
creative. You keep to yourself aside from a few
close friends that you can relate to. You find
your own ways to express yourself and don't
have a need to br surrounded by tons of people.
A small group of friends is fine. [please vote!
thank you! :)]

What Kind of Shoe Are You?(new and updated results!!)
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm so into ballet again now because of the beautiful painting that I bought. :)

Super dami kuwento. I can't believe that I haven't updated in so long. Work stress has been nearly too much for me-I AM SO TIRED!

Konting tiis na lang, I'll be okay after the 23rd...

whistling a happy tune...

Wed, 23 Jun 2004 05:41:15 GMT

Trip lang. My boss is back and I'm waiting for her to call me back. Is it obvious that I'm bored? :)

Aries - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits:

You're quite the charmer. You've got the wit and attitude to attract almost anyone you meet.

Out spoken and honest, any date knows how they stand with you.

Fearless, independent, and willing to try anything twice - your dates should expect the unexpected.

Your negative traits:

You tend to be vain, and you expect your partner to feed that vanity often with complements.

Hot tempered and impulsive, you've occasionally ended things ... only to reget it later.

You're obsessed with being the best, most loved girlfriend or boyfriend your sweetie's ever had

Your ideal partner:

A risk taking, free spirit like yourself - who can keep up with your latest wild child antics

Someone stylish, attractive, and fit... who can keep you attracted for months

Is hard to get - and lets you pursue things. You prefer to be the chaser, not the one being chased.

Your dating style:

Wild, unpredictable, fun, and daring. Your ideal date may involve a couple motorcycles or naked skydiving.

Your seduction style:

Honest and direct - you have no need for romance or much foreplay.

Show off. You like to show your lover how you're the best ever.

Ambitious. You often like to go all night - or aim for multiple orgasms.

Tips for the future:

Start to believe in second and third chances. You don't have to dump them so fast.

Savor the process. Sometimes the best part of falling in love is taking things in slow motion.

Let go of comparisons. If someone's with you, then you've already one. Stop worrying about exes.

Best place to meet someone online:

Match.com - honest and straightforward profiles, just how you like them!

Best color to attract mate: Red

Best day for a date: Tuesday

Get your free love profile at Blogthings.

having FAITH

Wed, 23 Jun 2004 04:56:30 GMT

For the past three weekends, I've been going to various days weekends-UST, ctk & Hyssop.

As always, because of days, (specifically JESS) I feel fulfilled, happy & content. This past week, I was really harassed but JESS is like an UPPER=addicting...so I'm super recharged...

Days-wise, last weekend was no exception.

Hyssop 13 was, in a word, uplifting. It was so good to see another batch of participants (My, Aurea, Felice, Heather, Frances, Tin, Nina, Daisy, Meanne, and Loraine) touched by Him. The core (Tonie, Candice, Mel & Ninna) worked hard and successfully introduced Jess to the participants. The staffers (especially the True Light-Hanna, Mell, Chenelle, Timmy, Nina and Carissa and ctk dazers/staff-Pat, Gianna, Tums, Kathrine, Miguel, Omar, Kritzia, Haydee, Welo, Mikko, and Carlo) were ready and willing to serve. I have to say this: I'm proud of US. Proud that hindi tayo napapagod sa kaka-SERVE kay Jess even if tatlong linggo na sunod-sunod ang batches. :)

I was particularly inspired and impressed by Ynez. A few of us bonded while waiting for the Saturday night activities and because of our chikkas, I discovered a side of her that I didn't know about previously. :)

Likewise, the bball clinic was a big success. All the vital ingredients for a good outreach program were there...nice venue, free food, super cool volunteers...the experience was fulfilling, even if the time
was bitin and the kids were semi out-of-control :)

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<img [...] ">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

For the past three weekends, I've been going to various days weekends-UST, ctk & Hyssop.

As always, because of days, (specifically JESS) I feel fulfilled, happy & content. This past week, I was really harassed but JESS is like an UPPER=addicting...so I'm super recharged...

Days-wise, last weekend was no exception.

Hyssop 13 was, in a word, uplifting. It was so good to see another batch of participants (My, Aurea, Felice, Heather, Frances, Tin, Nina, Daisy, Meanne, and Loraine) touched by Him. The core (Tonie, Candice, Mel & Ninna) worked hard and successfully introduced Jess to the participants. The staffers (especially the True Light-Hanna, Mell, Chenelle, Timmy, Nina and Carissa and ctk dazers/staff-Pat, Gianna, Tums, Kathrine, Miguel, Omar, Kritzia, Haydee, Welo, Mikko, and Carlo) were ready and willing to serve. I have to say this: I'm proud of US. Proud that hindi tayo napapagod sa kaka-SERVE kay Jess even if tatlong linggo na sunod-sunod ang batches. :)

I was particularly inspired and impressed by Ynez. A few of us bonded while waiting for the Saturday night activities and because of our chikkas, I discovered a side of her that I didn't know about previously. :)

Likewise, the bball clinic was a big success. All the vital ingredients for a good outreach program were there...nice venue, free food, super cool volunteers...the experience was fulfilling, even if the time
was bitin and the kids were semi out-of-control :)

<img src="http://aces.tabulas.com/purplestar/bball_clinic.jpg"" alt="bball clinic" />

inspired to serve

Wed, 16 Jun 2004 03:31:31 GMT

It was a terrific weekend. The best days weekend ctk ever had...I am so proud and honored to have been a part of it.

I was so happy that my ctk 02 kids (Richard, Denise, Reggie, Ynez, Macky, Glenn, Obert & Marielle) were there to support the core, especially Lari & Migs.

I was also happy because of how ganado the true light 1 dazers (Timmy, Mela, Theresa, Nina, Loi, Christine, Kina) were in serving the participants. Nakakataba ng puso.

I am especially proud of my true light 2 stars (Hanna, Chenelle, Mell, Ruby, Bianca, Carissa, Tessa, Pauline, Maica) because even if it was just a month after their own days, they were sobrang high pa rin and they showed concretely Jess' love to the participants in how they served.

I also fell more in love with Kritzia, Gisa, Rianna, and Gianna. The four of you shine brightest when you give of yourselves in the way that you do.

Lastly, I am proudest of my sister. She was and never will be in my shadow. I resent that comment from the last person it should have come from. Tums was and is a big part of what inspires me to serve. Her child-like way of loving touched me so much. She loves in the best way possible-humble, selfless, simple.

Every day, I try to find at least one person to inspire me, a concrete manifestaton of Jess in even just one person who touches my life for each day that passes. Last weekend, I was lucky, no, I was blessed to have several.

Needless to say, I am rejuvenated, refreshed and recharged to continue what I've set out to do.

Jess, You are my greatest inspiration. I continue to give myself to you.

anniversary

Fri, 11 Jun 2004 01:29:39 GMT

9 years.

There is a marked difference between loving and being in love. I'm both. I love and I'm in love with Him.

I've experienced 9 beautiful years of being in a relationship that is beautiful but complex. I am more in love than ever. I have never felt so loved, valued and appreciated. He fills me with so much joy and contentment. He makes me feel special, complete.

I haven't been as loyal as He has been to me. I've often strayed and often have I said "Ayoko na." Still, we're here at this point where there's honesty, trust and a bond so strong that my flaws, weaknesses and insecurities are compensated by and because of His love.

Thank you for loving me, for being there through everything.
I love you, Jess, I love you so much. Basta Ikaw!

coping mechanisms

Mon, 07 Jun 2004 04:29:51 GMT

I am going to be ok.

Like I said, in the end, I will always go back to my commitment. In as much as tanggap lang ng tanggap applies to this situation, I will go beyond it. I will transcend the negative emotions that the situation is eliciting. I will see past myself and what I'm feeling and turn to Jess for comfort, solace and most of all, strength.

I'm thankful for my friends: my angels, stars and rainbows. I'm recovering from so much pain and trauma, facing so many fears and conquering so many obstacles. I've always known that I'm not alone and never will be alone. I have people who continue to touch my life with every interaction, who allow me to soar above and beyond each trial that is thrown at me.

It was a weekend fraught with so much drama.

I will be okay though. I promise.

hurting

Sat, 05 Jun 2004 13:47:38 GMT

Sometimes, I feel so bad that I'm capable of being so ANGRY.
Right now,
I want to scream.
I want to throw things.

I apologize for this entry. I apologize for being weak. Tao lamang po ako. Although that's not an excuse.

I apologize for wanting to quit on Him because some people make me feel useless and worthless.

Nagkukulang ba ako? Masama ba akong tao? What you said hurts. I'm not a people pleaser. I'm not afraid of anyone. If anything, I'm driven by loyalty, utang na loob, genuinely accepting faults and flaws within people and focusing on what makes them good and allowing that part of them to shine through.

I'm not plastic. In fact, one of your accusations is nagpapatapak ako sa mga tao. Why? Because I'm diplomatic? Because I want to protect people from the truth especially when it hurts?

At least hindi ako katulad niyo. Ang galing niyo magsalita. Gusto ko manumbat but I wont. BIL!

In the end, I know I can't and wont quit. In the end, I know na kaya kong lampasan ito kahit na the ones inflicting this pain are those close to me.

I'm sorry. On second thought, I'm not. I can't please everyone. I know that. But I'll do what's right. I'll do what Jess wants me to do. I will live up to my commitment. Wala akong aapakan. Wala akong gagawin kundi magmahal, kahit mahirap, kahit sobrang sakit ngayon.

I will not deny that I'm not ok. But a lot of the people I love need me to be strong. I'll try harder.

Please help me Kuya Jess. Kailangan kita ngayon.

the calm after the storm

Tue, 01 Jun 2004 00:19:56 GMT

Despite the work stress that I had to take home with me and the little tampo I had with my honey towards the tail-end of our Friday date, Friday was really good. Okay, so I did end up, against my better judgment, doing a little shopping at the Midnight Madness Sale, but I learned something from my excursion. There are still good people in the world.

Saturday was even better. The wish-grant touched me. Syric's quiet excitement was infectious. In his quiet way, he seemed to take everything in, committing everything to memory, relishing every moment even if it seemed na may pagka-nr siya.

My teammates were fun too. I was especially inspired by Haydee and Jam. They worked really hard to make it fun and memorable for our wish kid. Their approach to the grant was creative and well thought out. Mikko, Miguel and Shaggy were aliw also. They have a kenkoy way of dealing with things, so much so, that everything seems to be funny. Amor and Mina look and act so much alike. (duh, they're twins :0) Grabe, super organized sila to the last second of the grant.

Carlo and I stayed at home while the kiddies (Mikko, Tums, Haydee & Miguel) were at the concert. We had Yellow Cab with Mom and watched tv lang. Quality Time. *sigh*

Needless to say, I waited for Tums to get home to make kuwento about both her meeting and the concert. She slept with me (definitely a treat coz she hasn't been doing this lately) and we talked and talked till we fell asleep.

Nothing much on Sunday except Reggie's debut which was good too. She was so beautiful. I'm glad we went despite the fact that I pretty much thought that we'd be the oldest ones there. (which we were) Chenelle and Hanna were there too, so it was a treat to see them as well. Hanna was so cute, sobrang daldal. I'm glad that she and Carlo got to talk a bit also.

I had a GOOD weekend. Enough said.

inspired to live, learn and love

Mon, 31 May 2004 00:05:19 GMT

I've been meaning to update since thursday, but a lot of work piled up because I had to rush work stuff in anticipation of my boss' 2-week US trip. Needless to say, I've been awfully stressed out...

Gisa's journal entry last Thursday about her personal motto inspired me so much that it got me thinking about my own.

Live.
Learn.
Love.

Basta Ikaw Lord! In a weird way, my personal motto goes hand in hand with my commitment. Kahit mahirap, kahit masakit, buong buhay ko'y inaalay ko sa Iyo, my thoughts, words, and deeds are centered on You. Panginoon, gamitin mo ako.

Gisa, thanks for inspiring me to take time to reflect despite how busy my life has been lately.

randomness of my life

Wed, 26 May 2004 02:01:42 GMT

First, I am sooooo sleepy. It doesn't help that it's cold here in the office which makes me want to curl up and take a long, long nap.

Second, I am super duper bored. Sure, I have work: things to do and people to call etc. but I'm putting it off. Nothing immediate though. Nothing requiring an answer right now.

Third, I want to go to the mall and shop. It doesn't help that I just got paid today. I'm not doing anything stupid (or so I say). I have gone over (a zillion times at least) the big difference between needs and wants and there's nothing that I need right now. Argh, there's a midnight madness sale in Glorietta on Friday. Somebody stop me!

Fourth and last, I am looking forward to this weekend. I have a date with my honey on Friday, a wish grant on Saturday morning and a stay-at-home date with my honey again in the evening....Yay!

dreaming...

Mon, 24 May 2004 23:57:59 GMT

"All good things come to an end". True Light 2 is over and it's on to the next thing for me. Where days is concerned, I still have ctk 08 (Go Tums!!!) to look forward to before going on a long staffing hiatus till November for both True Light and ctk.

Still, I can't be idle. It's not just me to sit around and wait for things to happen...I have to make things happen. What better way to do that than to make a dream come true...

Kuya Jess, please help me, this concert is for you...

to hurt or not to hurt...

Mon, 24 May 2004 00:05:07 GMT

I've realized that I can't please everyone and that I shouldn't even try. Sometimes even I think I'm too diplomatic. I sugar-coat the situation instead of saying the flat-out truth precisely because I don't want to hurt anyone.

Am I wrong in doing that? Is it better to confront the person outright with the truth, maybe have the person mad at you and maybe even affect the person so much that he/she loses his/her self-esteem because of a few carelessly chosen words?

Many a time have I wanted to just say it straight and not have to tiptoe around the topic. However, I don't. I don't want people to be unhappy or hurt.

Am I so wrong in protecting people from what I sometimes perceive as unnecessary pain? Is that the savior complex that some people accuse me of?

taking the dare to be holy

Fri, 21 May 2004 00:08:43 GMT

I've been thinking a lot about people I idolize, not actors or singers or political leaders, but REAL people I want to emulate. Weird, I suppose, but lately, I've just been inspired to be good and so, I've been thinking a lot about this... :)

Jess: Needless to say, I want to be like Him. Enough said. Tough, yupyup. But wanting to live out my commitment day by day is the way I'm trying to do it. He is in every person and I'm trying to see that...no matter how hard it is sometimes.

Kring: She's the one person I know who lives for Him and for others. Her every thought, word, and deed is entirely fixed on Him. I value her simplicity and dedication and admire the fact that even at such a young age, she's so focused and goal oriented.

Nicky: I've known him for 9 years and knowing him has been such a blessing. He is Jess personified (there was even a time that he looked like him :)) and he exudes this holiness that I bask in.

Looking at them makes me want to be good. It makes me want to be able to inspire people, make a difference and touch others' lives just by simply being alive, living and loving and bringing Jess to others.

Kring and Nicky, thanks for touching my life. I love you so much. Basta Kayo!

Jess, I want to be like You! Basta Ikaw Lord!

my last goodbye

Thu, 20 May 2004 00:44:56 GMT

My fourth day is a not only a jumble of thoughts but of emotions as well. I'm coming down from my high, realizing that I have a lot to deal with in terms of the rest of my life after days.

Many a time did I threaten to give up on days especially when issues would crop up and I'd find myself in situations where I'd have to fight with someone instead of fighting for someone or better yet, not having to fight with anyone at all.

I've realized that you cannot please everyone. That we're only human and we make mistakes. That not everyone can be expected to understand or accept certain things.

My mom didn't allow me to staff for the longest time. I had to "make takas" to do it. And yet, she now has three children in days actively staffing, practically making days not only an apostolate, but a way of life.

I love with passion. I live without regrets, doubts and hesitations. I'm not perfect, but I don't want to make it an excuse. I will not settle for mediocrity. I will live it each day as if it were my last.

When I die, I hope that I am remembered for two things, that I lived life to the fullest and loved in the way that Jess did, without asking for anything in return.

jumbled thoughts

Wed, 19 May 2004 04:38:58 GMT

I know...

You can keep on pretending,
pretending that the problem doesn't exist.
You can keep on running away,
thinking and believing that time will heal your hurts,
that distance will shield you from your feelings,
but I know better.
I know,
that you ache to be held,
long to be comforted,
yearn to be loved,
just as I do.

Needless to say, everyone wants to be accepted. Sometimes, I do feel like I'm on the outside, looking in. Like I don't belong, like I'm out of place.

Maybe that's why I love the song Out Here on my Own from Fame. It describes how one sometimes feels empty, alone and ultimately, scared.

I love you Kuya Jess. Please help me right now. It's hard to be strong for other people when sometimes, you can't even be strong for yourself.

filled to the brim with love

Mon, 17 May 2004 15:14:37 GMT

I have to say this, corny as it sounds...

I have so much love inside of me...I feel like I'm going to burst. Plus, I'm SO emotional...every text, lj/tabulas post makes me cry...

I'm especially loving my 19 stars right now.

My Days High

Mon, 17 May 2004 08:55:28 GMT

"The beauty that I aspire for is that which radiates God"

I saw this in the staffers as they tirelessly SERVED the participants and the participants themselves as they took baby steps in meeting Jess.

I'm so happy and peaceful. Everything is so perfect right now.

Admittedly, there was a point that I felt na nagkulang ako kay Jess and the participants, but i realize now through the staffers and the new dazers that He truly touched ALL of us during the batch...

coming full circle

Mon, 17 May 2004 03:15:42 GMT

I am HAPPY, COMPLETE, FULFILLED.

This weekend, this batch has taught me so much. I learned a lot about myself and I realized just how deeply Jess loves me. He made everything perfect, beautiful and special.

My babies, my 19 stars (tessa, bianca, popcorn, jormae, ruby, dren, karen, mell, andoi, kat, raych, hanna, celina, pauline, maica, grace, carissa, chenelle and dani) made the stress, the pagod, and the anxiety worth it. Like I said, it was easy to fall in love with you all...Thanks for being my kids. I wouldn't want it any other way.

My coremates (Kim, Rizzy & Te) are the best. I admire your strength and dedication. Thanks for making me salo when I needed it. I will never forget what we went through.

The staffers were fabulous. You worked for love of Jess and you did it well. You served as opposed to merely staffing. Galeng, grabe. Bilib ako sa inyong lahat. Also, it meant a lot that some of my kids from ctk 02 were actively staffing. (Marielle, Ynez, Reggie, Lari, Denise)

Nicky & Omar, salamat. Thank you for supporting the True Light Community. The two of you epitomize what a dazer should be and I see Jess in you.

Carlo, I love you. Thank you for supporting and loving me even when I was extremely oc, irritable & tense while preparing for the batch and overly emotional during the batch.

Kuya Jess, Mahal na mahal kita. Thank you for allowing me to serve you in this way...Please continue to use me. I give myself to you and I hope that people see You in me.

on an emotional rollercoaster...

Thu, 13 May 2004 01:20:33 GMT

I was shaking...I was at the bank encashing checks and I was shaking like crazy...I was pacing in the elevator like a caged tiger, hell, even as I'm typing this, I'm shaking...:)

Thank God konti lang ang tao at the bank at this early hour. I'm sure even the building camera technicians probably thought I was nuts.

I'm terrified and I don't know why. Rather, I know why...True Light 2 begins tomorrow! I'm SCARED, NERVOUS, WORRIED. I'm trying to go into it with no expectations, prepared for the worst and hoping for the best. Si Tums kasi eh...Argh!

Shit! This is SO not the attitude I should be having right now! Okay. I.MUST.STOP. THIS!

Whew...Please pray for me. I have to be strong. I have to be cool, calm and collected. Kaya ko to, right?